Prickly

[svarra]

I want an honest opinion, not an ego stroke. Am I prickly? My mother says I am, and that's why I can't get a boyfriend. I don't know if that's true, but I try not to be.

I mean, I have been pursued before, but, honestly, they were impossibilities. (Read: Lessin and Tim). Maybe I'm just way too picky.

I'm just feeling weird because I know engaged people and I haven't been on a real date.

I'm in a pity party mood today, clearly.

Comments

[undomielregina]

I took a couple days to think about this, obviously.

I honestly can't say that I see you as prickly at all -- at least no pricklier than I am. I mean, I can't say that I see "if you were just nicer/more accommodating, you could get a man" as anything more than so much sexist bullshit in the first place, but even given that you're fun to spend time with, and in my experience that does better with guys than most people like to admit.

It's true that the guys who have been interested in you are impossibilities (I notice you left out Derick >.<), but that's sort of a side issue. It's not like Benton was exactly full of datable men, honestly, even excepting them, so we're not talking about the best social pool to draw from. Now, if you're someone who has trouble seeing friends as potential romantic attachments, you might have to change your approach, but if I remember some of our conversations correctly, that's not one of your hangups. Something to consider is that I found that I had to approach men, they wouldn't approach me, so all the dating I've ever done has been the result of deciding to just go for it. It's fucking terrifying but it gets results, at least with the kind of men I like.

[svarra]

No, my mother isn't being sexist. Her argument is that my form of interaction with people tends to be taking shots at them, being snarky, and for those who don't know me and realize that I mean it in fun, they can get the wrong impression and seem unapproachable.

The only reason I mentioned I left out Derick was that I probably should have tried it out, because even if I wasn't really interested in him, he might have nice friends. (That's a direct quote from my grandmother on encouraging my mother to at least go out once with a guy.) Also, he doesn't have the mental hangups to the extent Tim and Lessin did.

Yeah, I'm absolutely terrified of asking people out. Which is a good thing in the recent, because in both recent cases of me liking someone, they turned out to be taken.